Gunner

From Melo:

Wed, 30 Jul 2003 23:24:07 GMT

Jun.18.2003 10:13:07pm pst I've never felt this way before....about a human 

Hey, I'm starting a cult.

Perks include:

-notification of any impending apacalyses

-you get to hang out with both Vegas and myself alot

-unlimited access to our fantstic stories of things that actually happen to us

-participation in 'Adventure Wednesday'

-a tattoo which says I own your soul

-PORN PORN PORN!

-I'll tolerate your bizzare religious beliefs, unless you're a practicing Mormon

-I'll mix you a drink once in a while. A good one too, so it sneaks up on you

-did I mention the recreational anything you want use?

-we'll get drunk and watch MacGyver reruns every afternoon

Sounds great, doesn't it? You should sign up today! just sign my g-spot and you're in. VIP members get added bonuses such as I'll draw you a picture with some markers and their own minion after 6 months with my cult- just give me a touch and become a VIP member now

Touched: 3
@111 Jun.12.2003 06:41:02pm pst
Death outside the family 

Today I learned that TV news dude David Brinkley, died at the age of 82.

It'll be tough, but I think i'll be strong enough to make it another day.

Touched: 4
@894 Jun.12.2003 01:28:21pm pst How bored I get 

Last summer I was bored and no one was around. I had some legos...1000 peices. You know how far you can get with 1000 legos? to the ceiling! 8 foot ceilings (minus the like 16" coffee table for a flat base)....that's alot of legos. Then this blonde chick crashed into it and it fell down when I tried to fix it....That sentance pretty mcuh describes last summer as a whole, really.

I'm pretty sure that if there ceilings here weren't so high (casue they smoke alot fo pot) I'd be doing this again right now.

Touched: 4
[

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<lj-cut text"click here for my melo archives, They are so tasty good.">
 Jun.18.2003 10:13:07pm pst I've never felt this way before....about a human Hey, I'm starting a cult.
 
 Perks include:
 
 -notification of any impending apacalyses
 -you get to hang out with both Vegas and myself alot
 -unlimited access to our fantstic stories of things that actually happen to us
 -participation in 'Adventure Wednesday'
 -a tattoo which says I own your soul
 -PORN PORN PORN!
 -I'll tolerate your bizzare religious beliefs, unless you're a practicing Mormon
 -I'll mix you a drink once in a while. A good one too, so it sneaks up on you
 -did I mention the recreational anything you want use?
 -we'll get drunk and watch MacGyver reruns every afternoon
 
 Sounds great, doesn't it? You should sign up today! just sign my g-spot and you're in. VIP members get added bonuses such as I'll draw you a picture with some markers and their own minion after 6 months with my cult- just give me a touch and become a VIP member now <hr> <a name=1998883></a>Touched: 3 @111 Jun.12.2003 06:41:02pm pst   Death outside the family Today I learned that TV news dude David Brinkley, died at the age of 82.
 
 <img src="http://img.melodramatic.com/img/gunner/brink.jpg">
 
 It'll be tough, but I think i'll be strong enough to make it another day.
 
 <hr> Touched: 4 @894 Jun.12.2003 01:28:21pm pst How bored I get Last summer I was bored and no one was around. I had some legos...1000 peices. You know how far you can get with 1000 legos? to the ceiling! 8 foot ceilings (minus the like 16" coffee table for a flat base)....that's alot of legos. Then this blonde chick crashed into it and it fell down when I tried to fix it....That sentance pretty mcuh describes last summer as a whole, really.
 
 <img src="http://img.melodramatic.com/img/gunner/lego2.jpg">
 
 I'm pretty sure that if there ceilings here weren't so high (casue they smoke alot fo pot) I'd be doing this again right now. <hr> <a name=1985646></a>Touched: 4 [ <a href=/mymelo/index.php?main= entry.php&journal_id=1985646> </a> ]   @833 Jun.11.2003 12:00:37pm pst   Kill your TV! ok, so last night I gave "Smallville" a second chance and watched 2 eppisodes in a row while i cooked dinner. You know, Buffy used to be on the WB....maybe Smallville was similar....These were the 'everyone goes crazy cause of something else affecting them' episodes. That means true promise!
 
 Maybe you Smallvilla fans can give me a heads up on this show, cause so far every episode is like this:
 Opening lame song and cr s
 Clark likes Lana, Lana likes Clark
 Somethng happens, and Clark has to save someone using his powers
 He has to ditch Lana for 2 fucking seconds
 He appologizes like he's just killed her mom
 "It's never enough...*tear*, *sniffle*"
 They have to start right the fuck over
 End Cr s
 
 Why the hell don't you just TELL HER you have super powers, which are cool, and that's why you always have to do shit and ditch her? If I were Lana, I'd be like "get the hell away from me, you never tell me anything" like in a normal world anyone that ran off 50 times a day to do stuff they can't tell you about would be considered to have a hard drug addiciton or something and there would be an intervention. "Clark, are you on Angel Dust? We're here to help"
 
 
 I would watch the show only one way- if the show was Clark with his red power ring on and all his freinds with those fun parasites in them. Man, hose kids were living the life, you know? They were having fun! Then Clark looses his red rock and then he's back to being SuperPussy (<a href="http://www.melodramatic.com/users/vegas"> Vegas</a> was right about that one). what a namby-pamby whiny bitch Clark is. I don't care if he is a farm boy, he can set your head on fire with his eyes. He's cooler than you, he's cooler than rich-ass Lex Luther, And he's cooler than Johnathan Taylor Thomas.
 
 Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go watch Buffy reruns on FX <hr> <a name=1969174></a> [ <a href=/mymelo/index.php?main= entry.php&journal_id=1969174> </a> ]   @985 Jun.09.2003 03:39:44pm pst   melo, melo, melo You know, if I didn't have to keep hitting reload 890432678432 times a day, I'd only spend about 30-45 minutes on here at a time. But OH NO. I have to click everyhting 4 times and see if it loads.
 
 well, i guess all that waiting...I should chill out, be more melo about it. hahhahaa.
 
 Sorry. <hr> <a name=1946682></a>Touched: 11 [ <a href=/mymelo/index.php?main= entry.php&journal_id=1946682> </a> ]   @342 Jun.07.2003 12:13:11am pst   Nevermind... Yeah, so nevermind about the party. If you thought you saw something here about one, you were tripping. And if you didn't, you're tripping now. But yeah, so no party this friday, but if you guys want to have one, well tell either <a href="http://www.melodramatic.com/users/vegas">Vegas</a> (the roommate) or I and we'll try to work one out. sorry about the calling wolf here, but we've got shit to do this friday. <hr> <a name=1937426></a> [ <a href=/mymelo/index.php?main= entry.php&journal_id=1937426> </a> ]   @438 Jun.06.2003 02:31:08am pst   riding high There's this thing I need to explain first...but it's a secret. ANd even though I'm bad at keeping fun secrets, I just have to say that channeling *certain* people is more fun than any pharmasutical high. That, and I am more ME right now than you could ever imagine.
 
 I really havn't had this much fun in a long time, and all I did was sit down and use the ouija board. I'm still grinning and giggly like a school girl, which is so weird. It was pretty telling, too, which, well....it's like when your mom tells people about the stupid stuff you do at home no one sees you do, like wear Smurfs underoos when you tell everyone you wear Super Freinds. I do need to do a smidge of saying I'm sorry right now. Luara (no, Cam, different Laura) was right, and well...I suck, what can I say, but it's a world of all good now. Yowzah.
 
 So, kids, who wants some sandwiches and tea?
 
 <hr> <a name=1885759></a> <<=1885759> </a> ]   @029 May.30.2003 04:42:28pm pst   1, 2, cha-cha-cha! I just thought I'd let you know that today everything's comming up Milhouse...so to speak. I mean, things are going so well today that I have an interview with some producers to be on a dating show next week. $100, plus free food. How cool is that? Oh and there's like a girl or something, too.
 
 If things keep up like this, it should all climax tonight at 12:00, when The Fifth Element is playing at the local cinema.
 
 You kid are on your own, I'm going out to grab this bitch by the ears. See ya later <hr> <a name=1852599></a>Touched: 1 <<=1852599> </a> ]   @435 May.27.2003 02:27:28am pst   From Hummus with love hahahhaha, russian girls are so silly. hahahhhahaha
 
 anyways, so if you have a food processor around, here's how you make some dynamite hummus, but don't eat a ton of it and then drink some whyskey and dance alot, you'll feel icky.
 
 1 can of garbanzo beans (like 14 oz or something)
 2 cloves of garlic
 1 1/2 T olive oil
 1/2 t cumin (yeah, yeah, laugh it up)
 1/4 t curry powder
 a clump (about 2T) fresh parsley
 1t (or more, up to 1T) cayenne pepper
 1T lemon or lime juice (I reccomend lime)
 1T toasted sesame seeds
 1/4 a roasted red bell pepper
 salt and pepper to taste (use about 1/2t salt)
 
 ok, so in case you missed it before (it's in the archives somewhere) to toast sesame seeds you take some and put them in a non-stick pan, turn the heat on and move them around until they get a nice light brown. It really releases the sesame oil from the seeds and makes them taste nice and yummy.
 
 The roasted bellllll pepper is easy, you take your whole chunk and cover the outside with olive oil, then toss it on aluminum foil and broil (With an R) it until the skin starts to turn black. not all of it, but some. Then you pull it out and peel the skin off, just like Jr. High cafeteria pudding. And yes, you should use a red one, they're sweeter. If you use green, it'll taste like poop.
 
 cut the pepper up so it's managable, and toss EVERYHITNG in to the food processor and hit the 'slam-dance' button until it's all kinds of mushy and good as a dip should be. Grab yourself some chips (or CRACKERS if that's what you have....) and dive into the madness. so far I only have the opinion that it's 'fucking great, man' so if I were you, I'd take that to heart and make some. Now. Yes, right now...GO! what are you wating for?? <hr> <a name=1832232></a>Touched: 2 <<=1832232> </a> ]   @421 May.25.2003 02:06:40am pst   Reloaded Horse Shit I'm sure that no one here is going to agree with me....but
 
 That Matrix Reloaded movie was, without a shadow of doubt, THE stupidest, most assenine movie I have EVER, EVER seen in my whole damn life. Kung Pow was better than that. The Baywatch 'movie' was better than that. Spice World was a cinematic gem compared to that waste of my money. MONEY! I spent MONEY, which I can trade for goods and services no less, to have 2 hours of my life wasted when I could have been masturbating to reruns of Gilligan's island happily at home. At least if I'd done that, I would have been doing SOMETHING worth feeling so damn dirty about. Of course, to feel this dirty I would have had to be masturbating with a used baby diaper and a picture of that old broad from 'Stop or my mom will shoot.'
 
 Some people have gone to see this movie more than once. Two or three times? NO ONE, and I do mean that, with ANY ammount of money could persuade me to see that again, let alone a THIRD time. This, I feel, is a definate sign of an impending apacolypse, the fact that anyone at all, let alone MILLIONS of sheep LIKED that.
 
 The next person who tells me they liked that movie is going to get the brunt of my pent up rage in one form or another, which probably won't be pretty.
 
 Plus, you should watch the Power Puff Girls movie again before you go watch The Horseshit: Reloaded again. You'll understand why, later. <hr> <a name=1816157></a> <<=1816157> </a> ]   @862 May.23.2003 12:41:54pm pst   The toiughest job you'll ever eventually get So, first the PC recruiter told me the soonest I could leave was like August....then it was October....and now it looks like i'm leaving in December. I love the Government. Also, I've been nominated for this like agriculture/forestry deal in Africa, which is cool, that's pretty much what I wanted.
 
 yay for me...in December, anyways.
 
 Now only if the sun would go down so I could switch to hard alcohol. <hr> <a name=1797154></a> <<=1797154> </a> ]   @437 May.21.2003 02:29:17am pst   Everybody in the school bus!! Disclaimer: Gunner's stupid emotional outpouring of the year. If you've read enough of this today on Melo, then just come back later, I don't mind. Also, I'm typing from my bed, and this font is really small, I can't see any typos....forgive them
 
 sure, thanks to a few of the right books and an Oujia board, I have access to a higher level of understanding of how life is learned. That's great and all, but that won't do alot for the fact that in the next few hours Dan and Lily are going back to DC. I'm usually not a Sentamental Johnny, but damn, those kids rock my socks nine days a week. I'm really going to miss them in ways I probably can't even think about right now. No ammount of m ation or channeling or lucid dreaming (assuming I ever get that down) will replace actually being with the Scoobies in our Del Taco booth at 2:48 am, laughing at the most ridiculous stuff with my heart still pounding from the adventure only moments prior. God how I'm going to miss that.
 
 I could have stayed in The States after graduaion and watched as the people I knew, along with my wits, were scattered by the four winds to corners of the Earth I may never see. but instead I chose to get it over with quickley and take alot of suckey "God I miss those I knows" before the embers cooled too much. When I get back, things will be different. People will have new lives, new paths, and new husbands and wives. I can tell you now that in the next 2 1/2 years someone I know will die, a few will get hitched, someone might get pregnant, and in every case, none of the peices will fit together anymore, no matter how much you try to hammer them back together. I'll probbaly fall victim to this, too....let's just hope that the memories of a select few don't fade as rapidly as they could.
 
 Tomorrow's drive to the airport, as well as Thursday's, is going to be just like Buffy tonight. On the way there we'll talk about stuff. Just stuff, like usual, and that'll be nice for a few breif moments....then it'll be time to suck it up and send 1/3 of my heart and soul (yes, Dan, including you) onto a 757.
 
 The Earth is definatley doomed. <hr> <a name=1777974></a> <<=1777974> </a> ]   @245 May.15.2003 09:52:56pm pst   It's the End of the World as we know it And I feel fine.
 
 Except for the EXCESSIVE ammount of food I've had to eat today. My God....
 
 Leonard Bernstein
 
 <hr> <a name=1761868></a> <<=1761868> </a> ]   @853 May.14.2003 12:29:04pm pst   Come Sweet Death "I have a recipe for the dryest martini ever. You pour six jiggers of gin into a glass and then you drink it while staring at a picture of Lorenzo Schwartz, the inventor of vermouth" -- Hawkeye Pierce
 
 You know something, that IS a dry martini. and the peppery goodness is complimented well by this apple. Have you had your martini today? <hr> <a name=1756117></a> <<=1756117> </a> ]   @259 May.13.2003 10:13:49pm pst   Extra Stout SO I was supposed to get sick a week ago. Cough, sniffles, snot and fever...the works. But it was finals week, so I had a little heart-to-heart with my body. It just wanted me to take some time and sit around and sleep. I was all like 'dude, it's finals week, come back later when I don't have ot like...know things and stuff.' So my body was like "ok...but you'll have to get sick later, be warned."
 
 so a week later, here I am, smoking a Kamel Red Lights (as opposed ot my normal full-flavour smokes), which make my throat feel....funny. dry. different somehow. Well, sur enough, as I'm walking home from my last final and every step I take I notice myself getting more and more ill. seriously, it was freaky.
 
 And now I'm taking up valuble nap time writing about it. Stupid Body.....I hate you.
 
 Though, here's something fun I just found again. while ago I had a little trist with this girl...who got a bit obsessive about me and my eyes. anyways, so she kept e-mailing me sketches, and here's this one which is really good, actually. But...notice my ears. They're pointy. I look like a Backstreet Elf.
 
 <img src="http://img.melodramatic.com/img/gunner/sketch"> <hr> <a name=1745397></a> <<=1745397> </a> ]   @256 May.12.2003 10:09:46pm pst   Blue Moon....you saw me standing alone So, in case anyone asks, I'm still in college....even though I took my last final today. shhhhh....don't tell anyone I'm getting old.
 <hr> <a name=1712846></a> <<=1712846> </a> ]   @893 May.10.2003 01:26:02pm pst   A helluva Guy At the end of Canoga ave in The Valley is this van with stuff written on the side of it. This is what it says:
 
 "JESUS SPOKE TO ME AND
 TOLD ME THAT VAL KILMER
 IS MY SON'S DAD. PLEASE
 HELP ME FIND VAL.
 DAWN CHRISTIAN IM THE
 BRIDE OF THE LAMB"
 
 I swear to god, it says this. Go see it yourself. <hr> <a name=1684317></a> <<=1684317> </a> ]   @417 May.08.2003 02:00:41am pst   Conversations with dead people Hey cats and kittens,
 
 So, just so you know, thanks to the Ouija board and someone I channeled, I have access to the secrets of the universe. Questions? Comments? Leave them in my guestbook and I'll answer them. If I can't, I'll ask the next time we use the board. Really. I'm not kidding.
 
 Shut up, YOU'RE the weird one... <hr> <a name=1648189></a> [ <a href=/mymelo/index.php?main= entry.php&journal_id=1648189> </a> ]   @370 May.05.2003 12:52:50am pst   Yep, I even saw his ID So, I was talking with Bryan Singer tonight (yes, really- director of X-men, X2, and The Usual Suspects) and I asked him the question that's on my poll: what you would have it rain down from the sky for a day. He said bisexual porn, but a nice, romantic kind, not something really hardcore. I dunno about you kids, but that's one of the better answers I've heard in a while. He put alot of thought into it too. <hr> <a name=1646629></a> [ <a href=/mymelo/index.php?main= entry.php&journal_id=1646629> </a> ]   @262 May.04.2003 10:17:35pm pst   THanks, oujia You'd probably be surprised at how many less health problems you would have if you stopped drinking carbonated beverages. <hr> 
</lj-cut>

We're back!

Wed, 30 Jul 2003 23:12:45 GMT

ok, so because of how Melo opperates their archieves, i need a place to put all my old ramblings. That's here. Anything you see here from now on will have been already on my melo, so take note of that. roll on rolly wheel.

We've Moved!

Mon, 14 Apr 2003 15:28:42 GMT

We've moved down the street to http://www.melodramatic.com/users/gunner/

Sure, I'll keep posting stuff on here....occasionally....like this I guesss, but hey, i kinda like melo. at least people talk on there.

Chicken Soup for the Evil Genius' Soul

Wed, 09 Apr 2003 09:18:50 GMT

Ernest Hemmingway, famous American author, drunkard, and all aorund man's man. When living in Cuba and Florida, he developed a love for the Mojito. It's the national drink of Cuba, and means to "assemble" or "mixture" in Spanish. It's fantastic, and great for sipping...

First off, make a simple syrup, which is mix equal parts of sugar and water (possibly more sugar if you want it sweeter than usual) and heat in a sauce pan until disolved fully, usually right before the water boils. Let that cool, and add about 1 to 1 1/2 cups of crushed, bruised mint leaves. Let sit overnight, and then it's time....

juice from 1/2 a lime (leave some of the lime in the bottom of the cup)
take 1 oz of that mint syrup (also good for Mint Juleps)
1 1/2 oz of light rum
7 up and club soda
lots of crushed ice

In a tall, thin (i.e. Collins) glass, juice the lime into your cup, if you want, leave a wedge at the bottom add crushed ice (very important it's crushed), then syrup, rum, and fill the rest with a 1/2-1/2 mixture of 7 up and club soda (just club soda if you like it less sweet)

garnish with a mint sprig and go to town. If you're feeling saucy, toss it all in a blender and make it a blended drink. Or, sip it through a straw nice and slow on a summer day. either way, that's what I call Good Drinks

Fukui San!

Mon, 07 Apr 2003 07:32:08 GMT

my one stupid emotional outpouring for the year....

Tonight I became quite depressed by Gwen Stefffani. She's alot like that girl you were good freinds with in high school which you had a total crush on, though you never said anything. You hung out all the time, and thought you knew eachother pretty well...then you parted ways and didn't hear from her for a long time. A few years later, you're talking to a freind on the phone and find out that she's not the girl she once was...she's changed. A couple more years go by. You havn't heard from her directly in a while, just talked about her with mutual freinds. Then one day you're both in the same place for a wedding or something and you see her at the bar. You walk over and the shell of a person looking back at you isn't the cute little blonde kick in the face you remember. Not at all, but rather now she's the girl with the stringy hair and bags under your eyes that says she'd suck you off in the bathroom if you can get her a line or two of blow. Disgusted and confused, you yell "get off me, you skank!" only to later go home and masturbate thinking about her. But you think about the her from 1995, smiling and holding that stupid orange. I miss Gwen....

Love that Turkish girl

Sun, 06 Apr 2003 21:58:05 GMT

A haiku for you....

blah blah blah from you
instead, I have my goggles
and can see Elvis

A Fresh Up Drink!

Thu, 03 Apr 2003 05:31:51 GMT

Thanks, Alton Brown....One day I'll be you, living in your huge house with a GIGANTIC kitchen with every possible utensil and spice imaginable, so I can cook anyhting. Except not in Georgia, I'd have to airlift your house to some other place....like El Salvador.

1/2 cup dark soy sauce
1/2 cup honey
1/4 cup dry wasabi powder
2 pounds tuna loin, cut into 2 pieces
1/2 cup sesame seeds
2 tablespoons peanut oil

In a non-reactive bowl combine soy, honey, and wasabi powder. Reserve 1/4 cup for dipping sauce. Roll each piece of tuna in this mixture to coat evenly. Marinate from 1 hour to overnight. Remove the tuna from the marinade and discard the marinade.
On a plate, lay the sesame seeds. Roll the tuna in the seeds to evenly coat.

Fire up the chimney and top with a well-oiled grate. Sear for 15 to 30 seconds per side or to desired temperature. Remove to rack and rest for 3 minutes. Cover with foil or plastic wrap to achieve carry over cooking. Slice thinly and serve with the dipping sauce.

T-minus $60

Fri, 28 Mar 2003 20:00:37 GMT

Current weather for 11:57 am, March 28, 2003
City-___________Los Angeles, CA__________________________Kingman, AZ
Temp-__________77 degrees F____________________________55 degrees F
Wind-___________variable 3mph___________________________steady 20mph, gusts to 23mph
Today's high-_____84 degrees F____________________________60 degrees F

Yeah, you know what, it is a shitty little town no one should go to, and even weather.com agrees with me on that.

Indoneeeeesia

Wed, 26 Mar 2003 08:47:39 GMT

Infusion- the way out of an ordinary drink at home. Tired of booring old vodka, gin, or rum? well shit, dawg, check it out.

take one bottle of a good-quality vodka, if you can afford Skyy or Absolute, then rock on. Then, think about what you want to have in your mouth. Fruits, spices, herbs, veggies....it's up to you, but get whatever's fresh and in season. Just remember to cut it small, and remove the skin of whatever you use, often it can make the liquor bitter. Right now I've got 1 jalapeño steeping in 4 oz. of vodka, to make spicier bloody marys and martinis. I'll let you know how it turns out, but I belive a volume ratio of about 1:4 (depending on what you have) should work.

Think about it, though.... now you can make 1 drink 4 or 8 or 20 differnt ones based on what you steep in the liquor. Pear vodka with frangelico mixed with a dash fo chambourd. Sounds good, doesn't it?

kosher dill

Fri, 21 Mar 2003 19:58:03 GMT

You know, every time I think I know people with the critical thinking skills necessary for not becomming a midless yuppy, I find out someone I know is blindly being led around because they can't think of a better idea than letting other people or TV shape their lives. Why am I surrounded (with a few stellar exceptions to the contrary) by frickin' idiots?

funk-o-rama

Fri, 21 Mar 2003 03:44:30 GMT

ok, first off, if you ever doubt the cleanliness of any, and I do mean any part of where you live, take a trip to mexicali, where vacant lots double as landfills. People that bitch about how poluted the US is should really take a trip south of the border and get their priorities in order. oh, and look in my freinds section for a little something from our trip.

Also, if you're not pissed off, you're not paying enough attention to the world. I'm not saying that what's his name is a good guy, quite the opposite, but how do you "do all you can to avoid a war" by invading a shittly little desert nation? According to the UN, this is illegal, and the US, UK, and Spain are liable for their actions.

And don't hate the French and Russians because rednecks think it's a good idea. They also drink PBR, remember?

Lenny and Laverne??

Thu, 13 Mar 2003 18:39:06 GMT

I had this dream last night that started out with a meteor shower. It srtaerted out all cool, you know...in the sky. Then because the atmosphere was so thin for some reason, they started making it through and hitting the ground, like a deadly hail of superheated space debris. Neadless to say, it wasn't cool, especially since I was waiting around to meet with a car full of people I know. I sought shelter inside a nearby house and waited until it ended. Then everyone showed up and we went looking for fun, like nothing happened.

Walking down a main street in a small mountain town with someone else we looked up, saw this candy candy rave, and knew we HAD to go, especially because I had bright orange raver pants nearby. So we try to find a way in to the place, and finnaly get up there, just to get removed by a bouncer cause it's a private party. Who knew kids sucking on pacifiers would go to private parties?

Then we drove back to LA, where it was raining. I decided to go on a walk, and found a small red metal lunchbox that folded out into this go-cart thing which I drove around. I went to this hot dog stand in Hollywood, and at one of the tables was Cindy Williams- Shirley from "Laverne and Shirley." We get to talking and even though she's got grey hair and all since she's 53 I hit on her and asked for her number. She invites me over to her place after she's done signing autographs at the hot dog place. I walk in....it's very nice, and she gives me a drink. Then we start making out, which is fine with me since I've been wanting to do that for a while now. Anyways, so her butler comes in and she tells me it's time to leave, but that she had fun. I go home, and get a phone call from my parents.

They need me to come to AZ ASAP because of some crap I have to take care of as they sell their old house and move into the new one. I bring the usual suspects with, like it's a mini-vacation, and what happens as soon as we get there? You guessed it- The apocalypse. Bombs start going off all the hell over the place, and the explosions are crawling through the valley and down the hills like an orange fog. It's amazingly beautiful, and right then bombs start falling near us. All I can think of is "Duck and Cover" which I do under a table and so when one blows up the house I'm ok, and my parents are covered with cartoony soot. It occurs to me that now we're probably all covered with radioactive dust, so it's probably a good idea to find some water to wash ourselves off with, which is really all you can do at that point. That's about the time where I wake up. Man, I have some messed up dreams.

There's a surprise inside!
http://www.geocities.com/squeaky8228/LSfanfic.htm

les mots de la vérité

Tue, 11 Mar 2003 18:29:47 GMT

"There are only two kinds of food: good and bad. Also, all of life's big problems include the words "indictment" or "inoperable." Everything else is small stuff. "
-Alton Brown

“A well made Martini, correctly chilled and nicely served, has been more often my true friend than any two-legged creature.”
Monica F., hanging out with a good friend at the Lion’s Lair Lounge.

"Symmetry is beauty"
-Albert Einstein

“The Prohibitionist must always be a person of no moral character; for he cannot even conceive of the possibility of a man capable of resisting temptation. Still more, he is so obsessed, like the savage, by the fear of the unknown, that he regards alcohol as a fetish, necessarily alluring and tyrannical.”
—Alister Crowley

The Skate party

Fri, 07 Mar 2003 07:16:11 GMT

Who's always giving Strong bad a hand?
The Cheat, The Cheat
Who's always messing up Homestar's plans?
The Cheat, The Cheat
Who's gonna start a rock 'n' roll band?
The Cheat, The Cheat

Who's "making out with marzipan"?
The Cheat, the Cheat
The Cheeeeat, The Cheeeat is in the house
Who's the man that looks like The Cheat?
The Cheat, The Cheat
Who's the one with yllow feet?
The Cheat, The Cheat
Who's the dude that moves to the beat?
The Cheat, The Cheat
Who's the guy from 21 Jump Street?
Not The Cheat, Not The Cheat
The Cheat

In junk we trust

Fri, 07 Mar 2003 01:12:20 GMT

Do dooo de doo....hm. I kinda feel like I should post, but I can't think of what.

David's right, the lyrics to "Welcome to Paradise" have got to be about living in LA. I mean have you see our streets? They're cracked and broken. But the thing is, it ends with it not being so bad; calling the place home. I can see that.

um...besides being all booring and telling myself about my day, I can't think of anything. If anyone wants to just randomly give me $1,542.80, that would be cool, though. Thanks.

Phorensic Weather

Sat, 01 Mar 2003 06:08:23 GMT

Here's a handy little recipe I made tonight. It's sooooo good, my god, I want more right now. Forgive the lack of brevity in this entry, but it's worth it.

Scallop-stuffed Mushroom caps

A bunch of crimini (brown) mushrooms, about 5 per person you plan to feed
Scallions (green onions)
1/2 cup bread crumbs
3 oz. scallops per person
2 cloves garlic
1T thyme
1T tarragon
1t rosemary
1/2 t cayanne pepper
smidge of parmesian cheese
salt/fresh ground pepper
clarified butter....

a word on clarified butter- it's got a much higher smoke point than normal butter, tastes different- more subtle, and is wonderful for high-temp sauteing. You know, mushrooms, searing fish steaks, ears. Also, its good for lobster-dipping.

This is how you clarify butter: melt it in a small sauce pan, and skim the foam off the top, and let the milk solids settle to the bottom. that delightful-looking yellow liquid is clarified butter. You can also melt the butter, then let it solidify again and skim the foam off that way. you'll lose about 25% of your volume by the way. once you get it, back to the recipe....

First, take the mushrooms and put them in a bowl, and cover them in olive oil. no, not drown them, cover...just drizzle and stir. then put them on a cooling rack and into the over at 350 for 8 minutes, until they yeild to knife pressure. stems on, upside down.

Take about 3 T of the clarified butter, the garlic, shallots and saute them for about 30 seconds. Then add the scallops and the rest of the herbs/spices. when the scallops get nice and light brown, in about 8 minutes (not too tough) take them out. Take the stems out of the mushrooms, and replace them with the scallops. Then put a pinch of cheese on them along with a nice pile of bread crumbs. put these little gems on a baking sheet, and put them in the oven on it's highest temp (set to 'broiler', but in the oven section) and let them go until the bread crumbs turn golden brown. you HAVE TO WATCH these, time has no meaning. Take them out, let them cool off a bit, and pop them like tic-tacs.

Just so you know, 'portabello' is a marketing term...those are just overgrown crimini mushrooms. That's it.

Mama-Mia, here I go again....

Fri, 28 Feb 2003 19:54:34 GMT

And now I will make haikus from cut and pasted ABBA lyrics. Yes, you hate me for thinking of it first.

Does it show again?
Yes, I've been brokenhearted
Now I really know

I think you know that
You won't be away too long
Never let you go.

'Cos you know I've got
Gonna do my very best
And it ain't no lie

Honey I'm still free
when things are rough it's magic
Take a chance on me

If you're all alone
When the pretty birds have flown
Take your time baby

Dancing Queen, oh yeah
Having the time of your life
Everything is fine

Watch that scene, dig in
Night is young and the music's high
When you get the chance

Yeah, you know what, it's harder to do that it looks.

not redneck....lowbrow

Sun, 23 Feb 2003 23:14:11 GMT

Really, who else has this happen to them? I almost blew up my shower today because I was cleaning it with alcohol that was too pure, and so the vapors could quite possibly have ignighted. I got dizzy from them, I'm not exagerating, I really almost blew it all up. But man, I've got a clean fucking shower. No wonder smart chicks stay away from me and all I get are the crazies.

also, when making ncahos, make sure to not go post to your live journal unless it's once sentance about something simple, for instance "I like doggies" cause you'll burn your damn nachos. pobre nachitos.

in case you like lowbrow.com, go to www.ladeefrickingda.com
she's a nice girl when you talk to her, I don't understand why anyone would send her hate mail.

Fing-longer

Thu, 20 Feb 2003 08:03:14 GMT

I've decided that it's my goal in life to destroy the human race. Not because I'm angry, or jealous, or some selfish reason, but mostly because it would be a challenge. And kinda fun. Well, perhaps I should just say that I shall be the one to bring about the end of the world as we know it. I don't think I'll use traditional icky death-filled ways, though....there are way more creative methods.
"What do you want to be when you graduate?"
"Become a supervillan"
"oh...ok"
that's how it's gonna go when people ask from now on.

MU-HAHHAHAHAHHA!!! FOOLS! I'll DESTROY THEM ALL!!!

wanna be a henchman?

Westward, Hoe!

Tue, 18 Feb 2003 02:21:00 GMT

Vegas is cool. I reccomend the buffets. Oh, and the slot machines are pretty cool, too. But stay away from $1 margaritas and shrimp cocktails. The end.

una canta

Fri, 14 Feb 2003 17:32:30 GMT

Goin' to Vegas,
Oh yeah.
Goin' To Vegas,
Gonna gamble, gonna drink,
Gonna steer clear of shrimp that stinks.
Goin' to Vegas,
ooooooh yeah.

That's my song, i like to call it "Goin' to Vegas" cause by the time you read this, I'll be on the way. Or there, I dunno who reads this and when.

The Two Tribes

Thu, 13 Feb 2003 18:24:48 GMT

OK, so this has been bugging me for a whole day now, and I need to answer this question. What celebrity do I look like? long story about signing up for Blind Date on a whim, but that was one of the questions, and I can't answer it.

OH My GOD. Cameron just told me he read a lowbrow post that I posted on Monday. Fisrt off, that's good turn-around. That, and all I have to say about it is "Walk softly and cary some phat beats." Nothing makes my day more than lowbrow. Really, I think it's my 6th tallent. TO find out the other 5, you have to watch Blind Date, though...
or ask me, its not like they're big secrets.

so, I can't think of anything food-related to put on here, which is pretty much all I ever do on here, but I'm drawing a blank. I was just boored. dig it.

Choose Life, Choose Cupcakes, Choose fucking big televisions

Tue, 11 Feb 2003 18:48:16 GMT

ok, so if you're ever thinking yoursef "man, there just isn't enough God damned chocolate floating in my veins, then I'll let you in on a little secret. Seriously, be careful about these, though....the power these weild is unimaginable. Heroin? Cupcakes? closer than you might think. One more hit of these and Mother Supperior woul dhave had to call me a cab, too.

Ok, make some chocolate cupcake mix. Fill the cups about 3/4 full. Then pop a choclate in the middle. Don't push it too deep down, as if it touched the bottom it could leak out or something if it's not cool. Also, cover it over with a spattering of cupcake batter, too. the choclate I mean. bake them at 400 or 450, so that the outside cooks fast, while the inside doesn't have time to get that hot. I'd say 8-10 minutes for 6, 13-15 for 12. The frost them with chocolate frosting after they've spent 10 minutes chilling out in the fridge. And you'd better put some sprinkles on there, too. It helps. Then, keep the number for emergancy services handy, and enjoy with milk or tea.

If you survive, let me know.

Gary the Chicken

Sun, 09 Feb 2003 04:09:22 GMT

ok, first off, No, it's not a patriotic colour scheme, its just that I like red and blue together. If anyhitng its the colours of the French flag.

second, Bubble gum ice cream is SO good.

Third, Lil' homies have been doing a far better job of protecting Shinji than the ninjas have done....I think the chick in the ski jacket with the Farrah Faucett hair scares off the worst theives...I wouldn't mess with her either.

One more thing- its seems I've invented a new drink. It's 2 oz. Gin, 1/2 oz. grenadine, 2 oz. 7-UP. A spiked Shirley Temple. hm...it's red, so I think I'll call it a bloody temple. no, bloody means tomato juice. If it was rum, it would be called a "Solaris" which is a dumb name...I was going to call it a "Drunk Shirley" but David, my roommate and soul brother, came up with "Defiled Temple" which rocks.

The Hot Apple

Fri, 07 Feb 2003 04:57:55 GMT

I had a realization today. I'm a liquor snob. really, the task of picking a staple and alternate bottle of booze has become quite arduous. That, and I also realize that vodka and I....we aren't really freinds after all. I mean, very nice vodkas, such as Grey Goose will always have a place in my martini glass, but overall, the tanker jug of Smirnoff (or, God forbid, popov) really doesn't do it for me anymore. I saw frat boys picking up a tanker of popov today. No, I refuse to captlize that name. Life is far too short to drink shitty booze. I also saw a guy happily picking up a case of Rolling rock, too, but my rant about beer.....well, to each their own, and its' great if some people like beer, that's fine, but man...life's too short to drink skunky beer. That's a bumper sticker. It's also too short to smoke GPC ultra-lights, but that's another entry...

Rum and tequila....my new freinds and allies in this war. Much like Australia and the UK, they'll help me invade places I shouldn't be and do things I shouldn't do. I'd add Gin to that, but there's no wussy USA 'yes-man' country yo associate with it. Bicardi Añojo ....a dark sweet mexican rum with a hint of aguave. God drinks this stuff with a twist of lime. I highly reccomend it.

Anyways, the moral of this story: if you try and give me popov, I won't be your freind. And if I tried to give you hot dogs and milk I got at the 99 cent store you shouldn't be my freind.